Yesterday on my Facebook page I shared a meme about the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional or abusive home on the ability to make decisions, even small ones. With that meme, I also shared two things I have personally used to overcome decision paralysis because it is a very common struggle for folks. I will talk about this more in another post, but what I want to address today was a comment someone made about my “pain” and wishing they had words to help.

I think sometimes people find it impossible to believe a person can go through trauma, abuse, and devaluing and be okay, like REALLY okay where they live in joy and peace and anticipation of beautiful things. But you can. I’m living proof. This is what I said about it on Facebook.

“I have said this many times, and I will keep saying it until the day I am no longer taking up soul-space on this planet.

Yes, I come from a seriously messed up background.
Yes, there is a lot more to my family than people knew (like most folks I know).
Yes, my marriage had issues I didn’t talk about and I was relieved when God got me out of it, which should tell you something coming from someone raised in a fundamentalist church and who wanted my kids in a stable two-parent home.
Yes, there are a slew of reasons why I should be medicated, suicidal, stuck in a bottle of something numbing, blaming everyone else for my life.

But I’m not.

And it really bothers me when I share about my past  and its effects and someone thinks it is my present or worse, my future.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME…
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DID…
THE LIES THEY TOLD WITH WORDS AND ACTIONS….
ARE NOT MY IDENTITY.

BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT ME
OVER WHAT ANY HUMAN SAYS ABOUT ME.

THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS A RIGHT TO DEFINE ME
IS THE ONE WHO CREATED ME.

And He defines me as 
loved, 
joyful, 
creative, 
hopeful, 
fun, 
interesting, 
adventurous,
someone he enjoys being with, 
purposed, 
an answer, 
the perfect combination of everything I need to be,
exactly what he desired when he first thought of me, 
a woman he looks forward to every single day, 
someone with fantastic laughter, 
passionate, 
quirky, 
curious, 
and everything he dreamed I would be. 

THAT is who I am, and that is the life and mindset about myself I have intentionally been allowing him to create in me and intentionally choosing to believe and own.

The past is fact.
It is not a life sentence.
And anyone who tells you it is does not know the God I know.

So, let me give you the add-on for you.

YOUR PAST DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.
What others did to you, said to you, about you,
what you did to yourself, said about yourself, believed about yourself.
None of that is a life sentence unless you let it be.

THE GOD WHO CREATED YOU FOR A DIVINE PURPOSE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS A RIGHT TO DEFINE YOU.

BUT, you have to choose to believe Him and live in what He says about you.
And that is where we have to align the temporal with the spiritual.

My posts and comments about neurology, rewiring the brain, intentionally addressing effects of the past, and all the other stuff is not because I’m in pain or broken. It’s because I’m not. It’s because I know God heals, not just the physical stuff, but the deep default stuff that was wired into us by destructive people and events. 

My posts and comments are not because I’m in pain because of the past. They are because I have joy and peace despite the past. 

And being honest, I’m sorry for those who don’t see that because they are missing some really awesome God stuff…not just what he has done in my life but the wondrous hope of what he can do in anyone’s life.“

Blessings to Believe in the Creator for Who You Really Are ,
Jerri