Jerri Kelley

“I am going to spend the day with my dad.”

I stared at the text. Then I reread it. Then I read it again.

“Are you looking forward to it?” I hit send.

Seconds later. “Yeah, I really am.”

Decades.

It had been three decades plus since he had visited his father for Father’s Day. Before three months ago, it had been decades since he had spent more than 30 minutes with his dad at any given time.

I know this because when we became friends nearly a decade ago we talked about it, fathers our age, the complexity of balancing their admirable faith with destructive parenting. They were a million miles apart then. My friend and his dad.

And today they are spending the day together.

Today parts of them are healing, as father and son and also as a father and a son.

Decades.

A year ago they were still barely speaking. For Father’s Day last year, my friend called for their annual five-minute awkward phone conversation because that is what one does when you are trying to not be the kid who has no respect at all and are trying to keep the other siblings off your back.

And this year they are spending the day together, and it’s going to be a good day with laughter, memories, honest conversation, and it’ll end in a hug, and his dad will say, “I love you, son.”

And my friend will heal some more.
And so will his dad.

Why am I telling you this?
Because for decades it wasn’t this.

For decades my friend was angry and hurt. For decades his dad was critical and proud. For decades it was tolerance or silence.

For decades my friend wanted a relationship with his dad.
For decades my friend wanted to feel loved.
For decades my friend wanted to feel welcomed at home.
For decades my friend thought it was probably hopeless.

But then God healed decades of pain between my brother and me.
And decades of anger became friendship.
And decades of silence became weekly conversations with laughter.
And decades of prayer for healing were answered.

Then he took the chance that the God who is bigger than my decades is bigger than his decades.

And this year there are no more decades.
This year there is a father and son spending a day together…and looking forward to it.

Blessings for your weekend and the faith that overcomes decades,
Jerri