Jerri Kelley

This is a Facebook pos from March 11, 2020, but at least for me, it is still very pertinent.

I’m going to be real about something, and it may be controversial to some, but…

God scares me.

Not usually a terrified because He is holy and I’m so very not, although that has had its reasonable moments when I want what I want and ignore Him…until the I finally respond to the Spirit saying, “Um…hey, Jerri, you are not going to win in a battle of wills with the God who created the cosmos. He is still right, and this thing? It is still wrong. Do you really want to do this?” 

Well, when you put it like that….

But today, that isn’t why God scares me.

Today God scares me because He loves me.

The thing about love is it confronts things you do that keep you from your best life.

It takes on the stuff you do that hurts you or keeps you from achieving something wonderful or empties your life of what it could be…and you could be…

Lately God is taking on mindsets that had become survival skills that are now life thieves, and…it is scary being vulnerable.

And as much as I want to wrap this up in some warm fuzzy bow, I’m not going to. Because the fact is, scary is the right feeling right now, and God isn’t bugged by it.

See, that scary response isn’t a lack of faith. It’s a physiological response to something that feels like it could be threatening. Faith looks at it, says God is in it, walks into that response, and works through it until it gets to the other side. A lack of faith feels the scary and walks away. 

Faith or not faith is the action, not the feeling. Don’t let a reasonable life feeling make you feel like a failure. 

For the record, I feel no condemnation from God for this feeling. Quite the opposite. I feel His pride because I’m leaning into Him, praying like mad, and trusting His plan. 

Believing a bridge will hold me isn’t faith.

Stepping onto that bridge and walking is faith.

Today God scares me.

But I’m still walking.

Blessings, y’all!

Jerri Kelley